Family Dinners vs. Eating Alone

One of my Parents biggest kicks was Family Dinner. We had family dinner at least four to five times a week. Dinner would last between one and three hours on a regular basis. This was our time to be together, and catch up with each other and what has been going on that day. Dinner would seem to always end up with someone being tickled until they dropped, chased around the house, or sprayed with water during dishes. There were not many secrets in our family because we spent the time at the table to become closer as an entire family.
(Side note: 6 people in a group trying to actively engage in each others lives through the medium of eating together. I do not think I need to tell any of you of the significance of eating a meal with a group of people.)

We used this time to create close bonds and have open discussions about anything. My parents would go around and ask each of us what we did that day, giving us all a chance to be heard. When my eldest sister left for college, our family dinner dynamic changed. She was always trying to motivate the family to do things. Play games after dinner, plan a party for the next weekend, or con someone else into doing the dishes for her. Then my second sister left the next year, and the noise level dropped...significantly. Then, with just my brother and parents, our dinners became shorter because we all got busier, and eventually left for college. My parents would and still make it a point to eat dinner together as often as they are able to. With it just being them, my Mom is starting to pull out wild recipes, and have even more fun in the kitchen, preparing for a smaller palate. But, the main meals I remember were Saturday Morning Breakfast, and Sunday Main Huge Lunch. Friends would love to spend the night on Friday’s so they could enjoy our crazy colored pancakes, and as much bacon as you could stand.  Sunday dinners, my Mom would be planning for days in advance. We would always have plenty of food on the table, a variety of things to choose from, and my Mom would ask us, what we wanted to eat.

Remember, a family is who you spend time with, not just who you are blood tied to. Create a circle of friends to swap cooking meals for each other and being each others family. “Try not to eat alone.” (Quote from Michael Pollan at end of post). Eating is one of the things we will have to continue if we want to live and breathe on this planet. So, why not enjoy it? Eating with others is not only fun, but can also keep you accountable to you own regime. Try to have cook offs, or invite a friend over for dinner. You can even make an event of it. Go to the grocery store, pick out your ingredients, and then make the meal together.

Eating and cooking with someone can also really help the wallet. Think about how much on average you spend going out to eat, buying your meals, or buying the prepackaged meals. Really, sit and think about it. How much money would you save if by spending a little more time and effort you could spend at least half as much by preparing the meals yourself? And always having leftovers for lunch the next day?  I spent eight dollars on a lunch box that looks like a purse, and it has been one of my best investments yet. I have more than paid for this ten times over. Who says you don’t have to be classy bringing your own food to work or school?

Today the number of people in our society who eat alone continues to grow. Being single and working a job is hard. Especially mustering up the courage and stamina to just make a meal. But lets think about it this way. You are providing for YOU. You are proving nourishing, healthy things for your body. One of the best gifts you could give yourself is simply taking care of yourself. How can you expect to take care of others and not take care of you? Make a goal for yourself this week. Find a recipe you want to make, grab a friend, purchase the ingredients and try it out. The worst thing that could happen is…well…. never mind! But seriously, what have you got to loose?

Again, I leave you with a rule from Mr. Michael Pollan.

“Try not to eat alone.”

“Americans are increasingly eating in solitude. Although there is come research to suggest that light eaters will eat more when they fine with others (perhaps because they spend more time at the table), for people prone to overeating, communal meals then to limit consumption, if only because were less likely to stuff ourselves when others are watching, we also then to eat more slowly, since there’s usually more going on at the table than ingestion. This is precisely what so much food marketing is designed to encourage us to eat in front of the TV or in the car. When we eat alone, we eat more. But regulating appetite is only part of the story. The shared meals elevate eating from a biological process of fueling the body to a ritual of family and community.” – Michael Pollan, Food Rules: An Eater’s Manual

Writers Note: Distractions can lead to understanding
It has taken me many days to completely compile this post, and there is still so much I would have liked to add.  I meant to post yesterday afternoon, but kept getting involved in conversations with various people until 9am this morning. Each person on this planet is entirely unique, but everyone desires the same thing. We all want someone to listen to us non-judgmentally and accept us for who we are. Try to be this person for someone today.

My next post will be about making Kim Chi this past weekend.